My elder son has just turned eleven. He is still barely functional in his reading and writing ability. Although he has shown progress from year to year, reading and writing has been a slow, tedious struggle for him. On the other hand, his younger brother is an excellent reader and his writing ability has greatly improved this year. My mom asked me recently if I ever question the path we’ve taken -- both in homeschooling and in the approach to homeschooling we’ve embraced. She wondered if we’d followed a more traditional route and our kids had been put in school, perhaps our struggling son would have had greater success with reading and writing.

I’ve wondered the same thing myself! My homeschooling journey has not been an easy one. I’ve been guilty not of sticking my head in the sand despite lack of success in certain areas, but of constantly looking back as I’ve been plowing. Jesus says in Luke 9:62 “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” I know this verse is talking about following Christ, but I believe it also refers to perseverance in anything God calls us to.

I believe our family has been called into the homeschooling lifestyle. I am as sure of that as I am of my own faith. I’m not always certain why we’ve been given this quest, but I know in the deepest recesses of my heart that we have been. It’s probably just as much for my growth and development as a Christian and as a parent, as it is for my kids. No other lifestyle I can imagine puts you in such close proximity that all faults and weaknesses are magnified instead of shoved under the carpet. Attitudes and beliefs, patterns and behaviors are quickly and painfully revealed. But sweeping these issues under the rug, although quick and tidy, is not the most effective way to handle such dilemmas.

Homeschooling is like Boot Camp: Intense, humbling and wracked with blood, sweat and tears. Nothing escapes unnoticed. Character flaws stare you in the face. The process either makes you or breaks you. So whether this lifestyle is just a way to refine our family or whether raising our kids free from society’s programming will allow them to unfold as God designed, I’m not yet sure.

Perhaps if our sons were in school, they would be performing at a higher level academically. But would they continue to be described by others who know them as secure and confident in their identity? Would they be the strong leaders and creative entrepreneurs that they presently are? I don’t know. I am confident that by the time my kids leave home they will be much more than functionally literate and capable and knowledgeable in the other required subject areas. I believe that God already has a path prepared for them to travel. He has equipped them with unique talents and abilities and they are brimming with passion for pursuing their interests. It ultimately will be their choice whether they follow the path their Creator laid out for them or wander from our faith and choose other paths less suitable for them. We all have been given the gift of free will and it’s up to each of us to either bend our ear to God’s call in our life or choose our own way.

It’s good to question. I have questioned. Our kids’ preschool years were filled with wrestling with my doubts and concerns about the homeschooling lifestyle my husband was eager to take on. Even in the first few years of homeschooling I was assailed with questions and doubts. I’ve read enough books and researched enough educational philosophies to be deemed an expert in the field of Home Education. I’ve also filled pages and pages of prayer journals and discussed by the hour the pros and cons, benefits and doubts about the path we’re walking.

Questioning one’s path is a good thing. It helps you define what you believe and why you believe it. I’ve really flourished in that area since coming to the Lord and even more so since trudging along the homeschooling trail. No longer do I conform to the masses, no questions asked. Not that I’ve become the ultimate rebel. I’m too intimidated by authority and too much of a people-pleaser to do that. But I do attempt to dissect the reasons for the path we’re carving out for ourselves.

Unfortunately I’ll never know what my kids would be like if they’d gone to school along with their age-mates. We only have one life to live here on earth and from this vantage point, more than halfway to manhood, I have to confidently say that so far I have no regrets. That’s not to say that our life is perfect and we have all the answers. But Matthew 7:7-8 says “ Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

I’ve been doing that from the start. Our life is far from perfect. We sure could use more money. Our kids are far from perfect. Right now we’re doling out extra chores for whining and complaining. And we are certainly not perfect. The other day I sent something flying across the room during a temper tantrum! But I believe that if we continue to seek God’s will for our lives, He will faithfully show us the way. And His way will not disappoint.

At this point, if anything were to happen to me, I would be concerned about my kids and how they’d cope if they had to enter the school system. I’ve been preparing them for life, not for school. But if I reach a ripe old age, or even if my life ended tragically right now, I wouldn’t face the regrets many people have of not spending enough time with their kids. I know my boys better than anyone else does, besides God. And they know me. They know my weaknesses and they know my strengths. They see how I rely on God day by day. And that’s the kind of legacy I’d love to pass on.

A Boy, a Tree and a Dream
I’m just kidding about "the dream" part…But I wanted to share an interesting situation that transpired today. I was waiting outside our local bible college this afternoon, while my husband Ted and Asher, son number two, perused the music department of the bookstore. I was content to relax and let my mind wander but my energetic nine-year-old, Tymon hopped out of the car and quickly decided to climb this old tree beside us. We get a kick out of Tymon because he is famous for not being capable of walking in a straight line to get from point A to point B. He always runs for one thing, scaling every wall or ledge in sight. Going for a walk with him is like taking an exuberant puppy out for a stroll. The similarities are astounding, with both darting to and fro, excitedly sniffing everything in sight!

His goal in climbing the tree turned out to be no easy task! He took quite a number of "runs" at it, attempting to get up the thick trunk, but was unsuccessful no matter how far back he started his run. I sat in the car watching him, absentmindedly amused at first, by his determination to triumph over this tree. Soon however, I was caught up in his adventure and began to pray that he would in fact find a way to accomplish his goal! One attempt after another failed as he approached the tree from different angles. I thought he would become discouraged, abandon his plan and find some other way to pass the time. I was wrong. I don’t know where this kid gets his perseverance, but it certainly isn’t from me. I happen to have an incredibly short fuse and the least little difficulty causes me to throw in the towel. But not Tymon. The challenge seemed instead, to fuel his determination. I watched, quietly amazed,as he threw his Jean jacket through the crook in the tree and proceeded to haul himself up the trunk by pulling his weight against the sleeves. That too, proved to be unsuccessful. However, his determination did not waver but seemed to grow with every failed attempt. I was silently cheering his efforts from my place in the car and knew, without a doubt that he would keep trying until he succeeded. He didn’t disappoint, as finally he came upon an idea that I thought was sheer brilliance! He tied his jacket around the trunk and put his foot in the hood like a stirrup on a saddle. He had to attempt this a few times, "shimmying" the jacket higher and higher but at last he was able to hoist himself up to the crook where he perched himself proudly, grinning from ear to ear, his face moist and glowing, glistening with perspiration!

I reflected on the endless battles we’ve had over the subject of Tymon learning to read. Year after year I’ve unsuccessfully tried to assist Tymon in this seemingly impossible task but this incident made me question my past tactics. I clapped heartily, laughing to myself as God once again reaffirmed to me the truth that even my "resistant reader" could and would accomplish ANYTHING he put his mind to!

Later, back in the car, Tymon was eager to share with us his experience and how various ideas had come to him about what to try. I was dumbfounded when I heard that the most successful attempts had been inspired by the "non-educational," purely-for- entertainment Disney video called MULAN. I shook my head bemused, and chuckled quietly to myself contemplating the fact that absolutely anything could be considered educational…and almost anything can be the raw material for another article!

Copyright © 2002 by Michele Hastings. All rights reserved.