Here are a few Frequently Asked Questions by parents who are new to homeschooling.

Q What about socialization?

A Because this is the most frequently asked question, it is a good one to begin with. Parents need to consider that in the average school day of 6 hours, the child spends approximately 1-1⁄2 hours “socializing”—two 15-minute recesses and 1 hour at lunch. The rest of the time the child usually sits at his desk, separated from the other children by the invisible wall of “good behavior.” Plus, as the school atmosphere becomes increasingly restricted and dangerous, the socialization that occurs is not particularly “social.”

Homeschooling parents, on the other hand, often find their children have too much socialization—weekly park days, skate days, and field trips. Besides planned events, children who live in urban or suburban areas come in contact with people all day long. Most neighborhoods, which is where a child’s playmates usually come from (and always have), include children of varying ages, whether homeschooled or not. Families in rural areas have always had to take steps to ensure that their children—homeschooled or not—come in contact with others on a regular basis. The fact is, children taught at home have more time to socialize freely without being told what to play, when to play, and where to play. If organic, pure socialization is to take place, it is in the homeschool setting.

Q Am I qualified to teach my own child? Don’t teachers know something about “teaching” that we as parents should know to teach our own?

A No. A schoolteacher’s job is to present the curriculum chosen by the school administration to 25 or 40 children in a classroom setting, moving them through the school year on time. A homeschooling parent’s job is very different. You will be working with your child in a setting you choose and recognize to be what is right for him or her. You can adjust your focus – and curriculum -- any time to meet the changing needs of your student and your family. You can work more during one part of the year, less during another (provided your state doesn’t require school-year-strict attendance records). You can spend more time on a “weak” academic topic and less time on a “strong” one. The list of reasons why we are most qualified to teach our own is long and different for each family.

Q What if I can’t stand to be with my kids all day?

A People don’t ask this question often, but when they do, we are always shocked and saddened. We believe parents who cannot stand to be with their children don’t really know them. And if they don’t like their children, they are probably seeing a child who isn’t “real” but is a creation of marketing, school peer pressure, fear, low self-esteem, and alienation. When your child is home with you, person-to-person, these external forces can—and do—fall away over time.

Children are people in formation (still under “construction”) and should be protected from what many adults today call “real” life—which translates into exposure to social horrors (news coverage of mass deaths, heinous crime descriptions, desensitization to violence) and personal “stylistic” degradation, such as pierced body parts, tattoos, and moshing (slam dancing), that was peripheral behavior 50 years ago. Our American society has duped itself into thinking that children are short adults with adult sensibilities—mature enough to make intelligent decisions about all they do and believe. A few minutes of mindful conversation with, and observation of, an 11-year-old or even a 15-year-old discloses that this “short adult” assumption is faulty.

Children are capable of making some decisions, but they have to be guided and steered in many others. We all learn progressively how to navigate life—to make choices, determine what we believe and who we are. To become skilled at such decision making takes years. John Taylor Gatto, in his book Dumbing Us Down, comments that today’s public school children never get the time alone required to build a personality but instead are constantly moved along the conveyor belt or bombarded with media stimuli. Homeschooling provides such private time. So it is no surprise that once your child has an opportunity to return to his or her appropriate age and stop being a reflection of the external forces, you are likely to find a pretty likeable person.

Q Should I let my children play outside while regular school is in session?

A Since homeschooling is legal in every state, there’s no reason to fear having your child playing on your block. If your child wants to play at the park and is under adult supervision, most communities will not bother him/her. Get to know your community’s attitude toward homeschoolers and, if it is unfavorable, work to change it. Some California communities once had “curfew laws” that were successfully challenged in the courts when they were not enforced with good faith and common sense. Be open and honest about homeschooling, and help local officials be aware of homeschooling and its benefits to your community.

Q What will the neighbors think?

A Your child is the best example of the fruits of homeschooling. However, I admit that we have sometimes felt uneasy when our son played basketball in front of our house at 10:00 a.m. on a weekday, when all of the other kids were in school. But I quickly remembered my true opinion: Homeschoolers no longer need to be afraid of recrimination from those with incorrect and preconceived notions. We can express our pride in being homeschoolers and confidence in the certainty of our decision.

Q How will I know if a homeschool group is right for me?

A Fitting into a homeschool group is much like the dynamics between any human beings. You may know two completely opposite people who get along great. Or you may know of people with similar personalities and interests who don’t care for each other’s company. You’ll have to visit a homeschooling group to find out if you feel comfortable. I have met born-again Christian mothers who attend secular groups that feel just right. I have also met mothers who are not religious yet attend Christian groups because they like the structure and the organization such groups tend to have. Try many different groups, and then stick with the one(s) that are best for you. You can always join more than one!♦

Copyright, 2000, 2006 by LEI and Modern Media. All rights reserved. Used by permission.